Re-Planting Beans In The Greenhouse Raised Bed.

“Just roll up your sleeves, homesteading makes everything free and takes almost nothing!”  That is the message you get if you read the books on homesteading. They tell you about the beautiful moments and there are some amazing highs. But they rarely get detailed about the ugly moments. Convincing people to homestead seems to be an industry of late…. The reality is not what it is cracked up to be. Earlier this week I wrote about being demoralized by the sudden death of the thermostat in the greenhouse, the loss of many of the plants I depend on for their friendship and for food, and a school shooting. All of it kinda went down at about the same time. When bad stuff is happening in the world and bad stuff is happening on the homestead, it can be just devastating. Somehow the books don’t tell you how to trouble shoot. They don’t tell you how absolutely alarmingly low this way of life can put you… They really should. Because it truly is unreal.When you depend on yourself, everything is your fault and your mistake. Every job your job unless kind people take pity on you now and then. The work load is astronomical. Just when everything is going well, something happens and it destroys everything you slaved for. This is the other side of homesteading. It isn’t all pretty sunsets and a little elbow grease. It is a hell of a lot more elbow grease than that.

Many people who get starry eyed about this lifestyle quit within the first 2 years. More in fact than continue beyond that point because it is just so hard. Simple living the reality is, it is anything but simple. You must know so many kinds of science and have so many skill sets to make it work. You can develop them gradually sure. But you only get out of a homestead what you put in.

Not long ago, I wrote about the thermostat’s failure and how it destroyed a huge amount of my winter food. What I didn’t say, is that it took time and energy every day to grow those plants. It took, water, and plant feed. It took compost, and labor… Then just like that it was gone. After I spent copious hours caring for it. Encouraging every bean plant and carrot…  Playing them all music daily, Watering them… Checking for the odd dead leaf, spraying them with neem oil to protect them from predators. I knew each one intimately. Every single one had it’s own unique personality and likes and dislikes and over time, you become deeply attached to these plants. As a homesteader the isolation is fierce and some of your best friends will be your plants and animals. Then, it was all gone. Just like that.

I cried. I sobbed. I screamed. I nearly threw a dish at the wall. Homesteads are powerful beings. They are strong and vast. The only way to do this, is to force yourself to be more stubborn than they are. You will have to find an endless well of forgiveness of equipment, materials, mother nature, and yourself. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do I have always found. This is part of what I mean when I say I do this because it makes me a better person. It also challenges my inner strength every day.

Everyone wants to believe the best of themselves and that in adversity they will thrive. Well, there is a reason only 12% of children are born on farms today. Because most people of childbearing years, don’t live on farms. Because this lifestyle is just too hard for most people. Yes, any reasonably able bodied person can do it. But most wash out pretty quick after coming in with big dreams.

Today, I planted the last of the beans in the raised bed the thermostat destroyed. This is who you have to become. The person who will do it again and again and again. The person stronger than a large piece of land, it’s predators, weather, and everything else on it. The person, who makes the time. The person that gets back up after being burned by this way of life. The person who gets up every morning ready to do that again. I said, I would re-plant. Here is photo proof that I took what this homestead threw at me in a dark moment for humanity, and I said, you can take my food, but you will never take my work ethic. Replanting this garden was the moment most recently when I ripped off my helmet and shouted at my homestead, “I am no man!” Before running at it to vent efforts upon it and once again make it feed me.

More people don’t do this for many amazingly good reasons. Some of us, don’t have a choice. So we stand our ground against nature and faulty equipment and anything else that rears it’s ugly head. I have been out here now for 11 years. Planting a garden, is the ultimate act of belief in tomorrow. I believe. Not in any deity. But in my own propensity to over come. I believe, because I have never failed to over come and this homestead is hardly the first thing that has tried or nearly taken me down or even out altogether.

There is so much wonder to be had on a homestead, so much beauty. But what I do and what I endure, emotionally and physically sometimes it is alarmingly difficult. This lifestyle isn’t for most people. The same ones who come out to the middle of nowhere and find themselves alone with themselves and can’t even deal with themself. Then they have to deal with every heinous way nature tries to destroy everything we build… And I have not even mentioned yet when man made systems junk out…. This lifestyle takes a kind of bravery and endurance that most people just don’t have. But for those of us who can find it…. The hard is part of what makes this way of life great. The new self that exists after triumphing over catastrophe is a powerful self. Today, I got in touch with a level of inner power most people never experience. And that is an unbelievable high.

Thank you for reading
Amanda Of Wildflower Farm